Obama/Dodd? Curses!

Senator Chris Dodd (D-CT) revealed today that the Obama campaign has asked him for a significant amount of paperwork, indicating that they are vetting him for VP. There are a few good arguments for Dodd — he’s got foreign policy experience, has strong banking and commerce ties, is a solid debater, and speaks fluent Spanish. But there is one big reason not to select Chris Dodd that you may not know about: he is cursed. Because he has met me.

That’s right, meeting me = failed Presidential campaign. The evidence is strong. And here’s what’s worse: I’ve met Barack Obama, too. An Obama/Dodd ticket would be doomed.

You may not believe in curses, but let us examine the dubious history of my personal involvement in Presidential politics:

• In 1994, I interned for Chris Dodd in his DC office. While there, I met Iowa Senator Tom Harkin randomly and hung out with him and his staff for about half an hour. Granted, this was two years after Harkin flamed out after the Iowa caucuses, but I suspect that this is where the taint of Presidential failure took hold. Damn you, Tom Harkin and your down-home liberal wit.
• In 2000, I left work early to attend a Bill Bradley rally in Providence, Rhode Island. Tragically, he shook my hand and said hello. Despite a strong showing in the New Hampshire primary, Bradley’s campaign collapsed weeks later.
• In 2003, I started volunteering for John Kerry months before the first primaries. During the dark days of late autumn, when he was polling in the mid-single digits in New Hampshire and Iowa, Senator Kerry tempted fate by trading sea stories with me for a few minutes. The Kerry Komeback began almost immediately, and when he sealed up the nomination in March, 2004, naturally I felt responsible. Then came election night and a singularly depressing drive back from Ohio to DC. Kharma had paid Kerry back … in spades.
• In 2006, Republican Senator Sam Brownback was jogging by the Supreme Court and made the mistake of stopping to ask my friend and me what case we were camping out for. A mere 20 months later, his Presidential ambitions would lie in tatters.
• 2008, Dodd’s campaign fails to gain any traction despite solid fundraising and a worthy resumé.

You can take that to the bank. Now, here’s why Obama is in trouble (with or without Dodd):

• In 2005-2006, Obama and I lived in the same apartment building in Washington. If he loses the election, he can trace the cause back to running into me at the water fountain by our apartment gym.
• Dodd has met me on at least two occasions — back when I worked at his office, and once randomly at the sculpture garden in DC. Now, he might have survived these two brief encounters, except that he and his wife had a conversation with me about au pairs. Kiss of death.

Given this information, Obama would do well to also avoid Senator Jack Reed, who had the misfortune of having me serve as his guide on a tour of a military base in 2003. Other politicians Obama should cross off his list are Dick Durbin, Stephanie Herseth, Pat Leahy, Ted Kennedy, and Bob Packwood.